Sex is Good

Sexuality is one of the biggest buzz-words we hear today, and yet all of us seem confused as to what this word truly means. Sex is good: it is a beautiful expression of love that bonds a man and a woman together and can result in the creation of a new human being. Unfortunately, our culture today has effectively separated sexuality from its purpose and its goodness. Sex has been reduced to pleasure. The pill and other contraceptives have opened the door to having sex without the fear of its natural results. Sex is no longer a loving action between two people that leads to a strong union and procreation. Sex has been made cheap. A man buys a woman dinner and expects her to sleep with him in return. What does this lead to? Broken marriages, lack of respect, and abortion.

Women are beautiful creatures. They have the ability and the gift to bring forth life into the world. Their bodies can grow and nurture a baby inside their womb. Yet our sex-ridden culture has lost respect for women. Men often see women only as a means of obtaining pleasure, and women often look at men the same way. Most of the time a man can walk away from a woman without getting her pregnant, but on the occasion that pregnancy does occur, men often feel no responsibility and walk away all the same. What is the woman to do when she finds herself pregnant, alone or unsupported, and unprepared for the responsibility of raising a child? Most women believe that they have no other choice but abortion. When contraceptives fail, abortion becomes a backup contraceptive. The humanity of the preborn is all but forgotten.

You may have seen the display on Dallas Hall Lawn of 2500 crosses, each cross representing a baby who was a victim of abortion each day. This display was meant to honor those lives lost to abortion, each one as precious as every single SMU student. Our culture does not acknowledge the sacredness of these lives. Rather, it has placed the woman’s bodily rights above the baby’s fundamental right to life. We see the baby as less of a person because of his or her size, location, environment, or level of development. Not only is the life of the baby disregarded, but pregnancy is often seen as a problem. Many people are sexually active, but if we were to see a pregnant student, what would be our thoughts toward this woman? We may think things such as, “Oh, she messed up,” “That sucks she got pregnant,” or “ What was she thinking?” What if our mindsets shifted? What if we saw a pregnant student and thought of how beautiful she is? What if it inspired us to see if there were things we could do to support her? In such a climate as this a woman may not feel the pressure to abort. She could be empowered to believe that she can raise a child. If she were not able to raise her child she could bless another family with the life she brought forth.

I believe women deserve better than abortion. Women and men deserve better than meaningless sex and they deserve respect from one another. However, it will be difficult to achieve this if we do not start teaching young men and women that sex is only good if it is between two people who love one another and are committed to each other. I am not talking about our culture’s definition of love, which is focused on the way we feel and what the other does for us. I am talking about real love: love that desires the good of the other, love that sacrifices wants and desires, love that will do anything to make the other happy. This love, though more difficult, can lead to greater happiness. I only want to give my body, my whole self, over to a person who loves me like this. My sexuality is a great gift and I would only give everything over to someone who would in turn give everything over to me. In general, women use sex to get love and men use words and actions of love to get sex. What if women believed more strongly in their dignity and worth and would not give away sex so cheaply? What if men began to truly love and respect women for their whole selves, not just their sexuality? I do not think there would need to be 2500 crosses on Dallas Lawn. I do not think there would be so many women who would be sexually assaulted by men who failed to respect them. Sex is good, but it can be misused and abused. I think it is time to make an effort to restore sex’s meaning, to restore respect for each other, and to restore love for one another.

This article was written by Camille McCarty. Click here to see more of Camille’s work.