Creations Experiences Satire and Humor

The Tell-Tale Parking Spot: A Southern Methodist Gothic

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Thank you for your order of $330.00. An email will be sent to you for your records. 

Purchase of a permit does not guarantee space. Parking is first come, first serve.

Purchase of a permit does not guarantee space.

Does not guarantee space.

Not guarantee space.

_

The words echo in your mind as you circle the university,

Looking for parking. 

_

You arrived over an hour early to your class,

Plenty of time—

One would think. 

_

You curve up Binkley,

Then down again,

Wind your way up Moody

Without success.

_

Back and forth 

Through the rows of the commuter lot,

You see an empty spot and floor it.

_

Someone squeals into the spot,

Inches from your car. 

You contemplate violence, 

Wondering if your car could just drive over

Their nice, shiny paint job. 

_

You spiral around Airline, 

Determined not to leave without a spot.

Spiraling into despair 

As you see your class time

Tick tick tick

Closer, closer, past.

_

You text someone in your class

that you can’t find parking;

they tell you to park in the neighborhood.

You stop at the curb,

an ominous sign hanging above you:

_

Resident Parking ONLY

MON Thru FRI

8am To 5pm.

You exit the dark omen’s forbidding shadow. 

_

As you circle SMU, 

you see an empty lot.

It’s forbidden to you:

Faculty Only.

_

You diligently try each parking lot again. 

What’s that?

An empty space?

You rush toward it. 

_

It’s a motorcycle.

Your class started an hour ago;

You’re now missing your next class.

_

You briefly consider

Trying to share the space. 

_

You hurry through the various lots;

you hear a crunch, a crash, a curse—

an accident behind you 

in the tight twists of Binkley.

You leave your fallen comrades behind,

hoping for less competition. 

_

Even the paid parking is full. 

You contemplate parking on the grass;

RGT can turn your car into a fountain. 

_

You’ve now spent twice the cost of the parking pass 

in gas

looking for a space.

_

You finally spot 

someone with their lights on. 

Maybe they’re leaving?

You wait. You lurk.

They slowly reverse.

_

You found a space!

_

You look out your window;

it’s dark outside.

All your classes are over.

You drive home.

_

Photo Credit: Tom Rodgers at the SMU Daily Campus, https://www.smudailycampus.com/news/curb-controversy-over-parking-on-hillcrest